Biographies::How my kids were taken, how I will loose everything

From R-KIDS of MN and GPF

My story begins...

Back in 1990 it was difficult to find work. I had been laid off and was faced with being a new dad. My son was born in '91. I was not married at the time but the mother and I lived together. We really didn't have much. I worked several part time jobs and was able to support my family but we had no insurance. We had our son on medical assistance through the state. Eventualy in 1994 I got a full time job with Moundsview Schools. I was able to put my son on insurance.

We wanted to do the right thing and told the county of Anoka that I had a full time job and was able to put my son on my insurance. We only thought we were doing the honest thing. The county asked us to come down and sign some papers. We did. Well, a short time later I was summoned for a law suit of $13,000 from Anoka for back support. Yeah, back support, even though we were living together.

I had to pay that money back. I did. I had to go down to the court house every 2 weeks to show a case worker my check stub showing I was still able to support my son. I couldn't mail it or fax it, I had to be there in person. If the case worker wasn't there I had to come back the next day. I did that for 2 years and finaly just stopped doing it.

Gee... where were the "super lawyers" then? Tell me about descrimination?

Well, turns out the place we were staying found out about my income. After we moved into these apartments they went to a low income housing complex. We were getting evicted because of my new job. I made too much money.

In one month I was able to secure a loan for a house. We did it in 30 days of being evicted.

We had a second son together. Things were very different though. She was gone a lot. I excused it out of guilty feelings of wanting to have a family and be a dad. Until one night after coming home. I walked into an empty house. Everything gone.

Faced now with a mortgage and a new car I couldn't make the payments on my own. I went into a depression and just didn't care. I almost lost the house. I did lose the car.

I filed bankruptcy twice in that time. One of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

My oldest boy was getting older and she was letting me have him more. But she would not let me have the youngest boy. I could never understand why. Untill it came time for my youngest to start school. That is when my youngest boy and I started to bond. I was getting both boys off to school. She would pick them up from school because I worked nights. I had both my kids all the time and I loved it.

And in all those years, if she were ever mad at me about something, or ever felt I wanted to date, or to go out with friends, she took the kids from me. She never told me our relationship was over. In fact I had to pretend nothing was wrong during visits to my parents' house. Does anyone know how that feels? And all this time that she used my kids against me, and all of the guilt and shame I felt for not having a family, I discovered she had gotten married.

And all of the lies she told me when I would get an ocasional letter written for her and her husband. It all came out eventually. She would tell me that she just used this name to secure credit. Oh, and it gets better. The brain tumor the size of a golf ball. Yes, and my dad just thought the world of this girl. And my guilt and shame could never bring me to telling him the truth.

I got over the marriage thing untill last summer. She called me as usual telling me the kids weren't behaving. She hung up so I called back. My oldest son answered and a man took the phone from him, I heard what sounded like my son falling down. Wow, to my surprise, marriage number 2. And still in that time, the promises of getting back together and making a family, the threats to me of me even leaving my house, taking my kids if I didn't give her money, all this, and marriage number 2.

It hurt. I soon dealt with it because I was able to see the kids more. It seemed they were getting in the way of her new marriage. I had the kids again. 7 days a week. I got everything for them. School clothes, food, everything. I finally got my credit cleaned and got a home equity loan for the house. I was doing everything to the house for me and my boys. And then last December she decided I was not to see my kids again.

My depression became very severe. But more and more I started seeing them but only on weekends. Then the papers came from Anoka. They wanted my information. The depression lead into suicidal thoughts. I lost my family several times, had lost my father, and now was faced with losing the house. The one thing I fought to get was going to be taken from me. I had nothing to live for.

I went to see an attorney. Paid $100 for information for my situation.

Well. I had no legal rights to my kids. No rights to my kids. Didn't matter if I bought them the Taj Mahal. I had no rights. Even though there was abuse in the mothers home. Even though they were registered in my school district. Even though I supported my kids.

Had health insurance.

I had no rights.

But...

If I paid this attorney $6,000 I could be adjudicated their father. And another$4,500 i could set up visitation. And maybe for about $15,000 I could get custody, but that still wasn't a gaurentee. I didn't have the money.

All that money... I had no rights... and for $25 she was able to file a motion to rake my ass over the coals. I was not legaly considered my boys's father by the courts but I was their daddy when it came time for Anoka to take my money. Interesting huh? And I'm not a woman so therefor I am not a custodial parent. Hmmm... it did take 2 of us to have the kids.

Now here's the kicker. Her first marriage? Well, my youngest was born when I didn't know she was married at the time. Yeah, call me an idiot. I know. Hind sight and all that. So you know what? I'm really in the shits. I've got 20 days to respond to the county to request a hearing. Yeah, I have to do that or they just order a default.

So I decided, and maybe through God's intervention, to reach out for some help. It took me 30 minutes to write this and 31 minutes ago I had a gun in my mouth.

I just want my kids back.

I want my life back.

That's how my kids were stolen from me.